Unknown Child in the Red Snow
by Sleep Walking Chicken
Summary: A look into Inu-yasha's childhood and how he grew to be who he is today (InuKag) (complete)
1. Chapter one

**Unknown Child in the Red Snow  
Chapter One**  
  
The little footsteps were muffled slightly by the soft snow surrounding the house. The child making the footsteps giggled happily as he ran away from an older woman who was smiling as she tried to catch her son.  
  
"Can't catch me mommy!" the child giggled again and hoped over a large log in the middle of the yard. He stuck out his tongue happily as he turned to look at her. He failed to notice that there was a tree root in front of him and ended up falling face first into the snow.  
  
The mother smiled and laughed softly at her son's clumsiness. She walked briskly over to him and wrapped an extra haori around him. The child pouted and looked up at his mom. "Mom I don't need this."  
  
"Yes you do Inu-yasha," the woman whispered as she hugged her small child, "you'll catch a chill if you don't."  
  
The child, Inu-yasha, sighed and then shivered, "Ok, maybe you're right."  
  
Inu-yasha's mother grabbed his hand and started to walk back to the house, "Come on dear, you need to go to sleep."  
  
"All right mommy."  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha skipped along the village, his little hakama and haori were causing him to trip every so often when the hakama reached below his feet.  
  
Inu-yasha paused when he heard little squeals of laughter and saw five children playing happily with each other.  
  
Inu-yasha smiled, he wanted to play too. He walked over to them and they all stopped their game to stare at them. The cold glares they were giving them made the cold winter air feel like a summer breeze. He gulped and looked around nervously. "Can I play?"  
  
The children sneered at Inu-yasha, making his ears droop sadly. The tallest child, obviously the leader stood up and walked over to Inu-yasha. He towered above Inu-yasha. Inu-yasha watched, his eyes widened, as the boy brought down a fist and punched him in the cheek.  
  
"Stupid hanyou!" the child hissed and punched him again.  
  
The punches didn't hurt much, but he felt tears coming to his eyes as the other children joined in the beating.  
  
The five left with accomplished feelings and large smile on their faces as they abandoned a collapsed Inu-yasha in the snow-covered ground, now stained a deep red.  
  
He lifted his head, his eyes blurred with tears, his face contorted with pain. "Hanyou?" he whispered, confused with the term. What was a hanyou?  
  
Inu-yasha walked home, tears still falling down his cheeks. He looked up as his mother came into view. He ran to her and threw his arms around her waist, finding comfort in her arms. Trying to wipe the tears away before his mother saw them, Inu-yasha nuzzled up to his mother.  
  
"Inu-yasha?" Inu-yasha looked up as his mother kneeled down and stroked her child's cheeks, "What happened?"  
  
Inu-yasha hated it when his mother worried so he gulped, "I fell down."  
  
Even though he said this, his mother began to cry, tears falling down her cheeks as she hugged him to her.  
  
"What's wrong mommy? All I did was fall down," the hanyou whispered as his mother continued to sob.  
  
"I only fell..."  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha awoke with a start and stared around the room. He felt a cold shiver run down his spin as he searched for him mother. He felt a sickening feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, but he ignored it as he came to his mother's room.  
  
Opening the door slowly he peered inside and was surprised to see that there was no one in the room. The bed looked as if it was never slept in. Inu-yasha blinked in confusion and inhaled his mother's scent. It was old.  
  
She hadn't been in the room for at least two hours.  
  
He raised a confused eyebrow as he journeyed down the hall, searching desperately for his mother.  
  
His sniffing brought him outside, and he saw his mother running in the garden.  
  
He watched as his mother run in a panic, she glanced over her shoulder, and Inu-yasha could smell her tears.  
  
Inu-yasha began to run after her, but watched in horror as five demons appeared in front of his mother and performed various attacks on the woman.  
  
Inu-yasha's eyes widened.  
  
The tallest demon smirked, "Pathetic human."  
  
Inu-yasha hid behind a bush as the demons all retreated back into the forest that surrounded the house.  
  
Inu-yasha sat in shock.  
  
The stench of blood filled his nose and his little child eyes widened as he bolted towards his mother.  
  
"MOM!"  
  
The woman looked up, her face smeared with her own blood. "Oh Inu-yasha, my little boy."  
  
"Mommy," the hanyou whispered as he collapsed in front of her.  
  
"Inu-yasha, run please," Inu-yasha began to cry realizing that her life was slipping away.  
  
"No, I won't!" the hanyou cried his eyes pained and sad, "I won't leave you alone!"  
  
"Inu-yasha," his mother closed her eyes sadly, "I can't protect you anymore!"  
  
"Mom." Inu-yasha shook his head, "Please don't die!"  
  
The woman looked sadly at her son, before reaching out a bloodied hand and running her hand down his cheek weakly, "Just like your father..."  
  
Inu-yasha sobbed as the hand fell from his cheek and resided in the blood covered snow.  
  
Inu-yasha stared in a stunned silence. He reached out a hesitant hand and lifted his mother's chin to look at her face.  
  
Inu-yasha felt another sob rack his lungs as he closed his eyes and opened them again, trying to wake up from this nightmare.  
  
Inu-yasha used his hand to close his mother's eyelids and stood up. Tears running down his cheeks he clenched his fists until blood seeped through his closed fist.  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha awoke to whispers all around him. Cracking open an eye he realized that villagers were all staring at Inu-yasha's bloodied hands and face and his dead mother.  
  
Inu-yasha stood up, "Thank kami! There were demons! They attacked my mom!"  
  
The villagers ignored him as his hanyou hearing picked up the sounds of the whispers he caught _'stupid hanyou_.' _'Murder'_. _'Miko_.'  
  
Inu-yasha looked up in confusion as the village leader kicked him in the stomach, "You idiot hanyou! Thanks to you we no longer have a village miko! How will we be protected by youkai if we don't have a miko!"  
  
"What?" Inu-yasha felt anger rising in him, "You think I'd kill my own mother!?"  
  
"You'd kill anyone you please, hanyou, it's the way of youkai!" the village leader kicked him in the stomach again.  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Hanyou!" the village leader barked, "You have no say in this matter, you killed your mother, and our miko! Get out of this village and never return!"  
  
The hanyou whimpered and ran into the forest. His pounding footsteps leaving little footprints of blood.  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha sat in a tree in the forest. He'd come upon it when he'd run away from the village. The forest was small, yet it had a huge tree right next to a funny looking well.  
  
It was pretty and modest forest. He liked it.  
  
And it was right next to a village. He didn't dare go there though, for fear of being attacked or hurt. Plus, he no longer had anyone to protect him.  
  
The only family member he had left was his older brother, but he didn't know where he was. He wished he could find his brother, though he was mean to him, at least he could protect them.  
  
The hanyou quickly wiped away the tears falling down his cheeks as he made a sound that sounded like a _'Feh'_ and fell asleep in the tree.  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha was awoken by a large energy attack hitting the limp of the tree he'd been residing in. he jumped out of the tree and turned in mid-air, his seven year old self confused by the sudden attack.  
  
A demon stood above him, sneering.  
  
"You're a hanyou aren't you? I can smell the human blood within you!" the demon growled his body overpowering the hanyou's as he stepped on him.  
  
The hanyou whimpered in pain and began to run. The demon, glad for this action, began to run after him, but was soon surprised when the hanyou picked up speed and rose ahead.  
  
The demon snarled then grew a wicked look, they were nearing a cliff, and the stupid hanyou would have to let him beat him. That was his favorite pass time, beating people weaker than him.  
  
Inu-yasha, too, was aware of the cliff coming up but his little child mind didn't have time to think of something as he jumped off the cliff, free falling. Maybe if he were lucky he'd die and see his mom and dad again.  
  
The demon blinked in surprise, snarled and left, not wanting to see a suicidal child.  
  
Inu-yasha felt tears in his eyes again, "It hurts."  
  
He whispered it but it sounded like a thousand shouts. It hurt, the wind pushing against him, and running into his sensitive ears, causing them to fall back against his skull, it really, really hurt.  
  
And he was positive it would hurt even more once he reached the end of the fall. He closed his eyes and awaited the inevitable.  
  
But instead, he came in contact with water. The impact only broke his legs, which would heal in about a weak.  
  
He sniffed and gasped for air as his head broke the surface. He couldn't swim, and even if he could, he couldn't move his legs anyway! He threw his arms around furiously as he grasped a rock in the middle of the river. Holding onto it for dear life.  
  
And then all went black.  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha opened his bleary eyes and looked around. He felt a trickle on the side of his skull, he fingered it. Blood.  
  
He fond himself washed up on shore with broken legs and a bleeding head. He must have hit some rocks as he washed up on shore.  
  
Part of him was happy and the other part was sad.  
  
He looked up at the sky, his eyes no longer holding the childhood innocence. His eyes were cold and dark, wild and uncaring.  
  
He snarled at nothing, "Someday, I'll be a full demon, and you'll all be sorry!"  
  
He punched a rock next to him and smirked evilly as the rock collapsed into pebbles.  
  
"And I'll kill all who get in my way."


	2. Chapter two

**Unknown child in the Red Snow  
Chapter Two**  
  
He stood silently in front of the gravestone. Her beautiful name chiseled into the large headstone, beneath it, written clearly, it said: "Our beloved Miko, our friend, daughter, and lover of our village."  
  
What hurt him the most was that they mentioned nothing of him or his father. Nothing of _'good wife' _or _'loving mother'_. No, nothing like that, that would disgrace the Miko that was once his mother. In a way, he was slightly relieved that his name wasn't mentioned, that they didn't mention she had a son. Obviously no one liked him, and it would just disgrace his mother, make her less respected, even in death.  
  
It had been exactly one year since his mother's death, and he'd come to pay his respects.  
  
A snowball flew through the air and hit him smack dab on the left cheek, it splattering on contact and running down his already numb face. He didn't move, he was in the middle of a prayer to his mother in hopes that she was finally happy, having found dad wherever they were.  
  
"Youkai!" a child his age yelled up to him, "Get away from our Miko!"  
  
Inu-yasha didn't turn. He continued to whisper his prayers, he wasn't a youkai, anyways, and he was just a normal human like everyone else. Well, not normal human, but he was a human, and one thought always plagued his mind _'why are they mean to their own kind?'_  
  
The child gasped, "A hanyou?"  
  
There was that word again, why didn't he ever understand that? He frowned deeply and finished his prayers with a simple goodbye to his mother and a promise to return next year. He moved slowly, his footsteps barely leaving footprints in the soft blanket of snow as he looked at the child coldly.  
  
"Why do you interrupt me as I pay my respects?" Inu-yasha hissed at the child, who quivered in fear and backed up a step, inu-yasha cracked his knuckles with a sense of hostility. He wasn't going to hurt the people of his village, he wasn't that cruel, though, just scaring them would be fine.  
  
The child whimpered in fear as Inu-yasha sneered and then lowered his hand, "I won't shed blood so close to my mother's grave."  
  
And he calmly walked away, not wanting to displease his mother.  
  
---  
  
Inu-yasha walked through the village towards the forest; his limbs were frozen, preventing him from just running. Though he was only a young child, his attitude made him appear that he'd suffered through a thousand winters. People stared and whispered, which he picked up perfectly with his demonic hearing. Children threw snowballs before their parent's shooed them into their house, and parents shot meaningful glares as the elders prevented them from running towards the hanyou, and the elders thought of some spell that would prevent youkai attacks.  
  
Inu-yasha felt his ears flatten to his skull, how could people treat a small human boy like this? It was scary, and the fact that his mother wasn't around made him sadden even more.  
  
He yawned softly, and picked up his hand to rub his eyes, with his hand raising he watched in fascination as people flinched and turned away, awaiting his deadly claws to dig through them.  
  
He blinked.  
  
At times he felt as helpless as the child he is, and at other times he wanted to find some way to not be human anymore and become a youkai so that people would respect him.  
  
He never understood this village, they always treated him with disdain, but never tried to kill him, just hurt him a bit.  
  
Walking towards the end of the village, he soon realized he was being followed. Followed by the men of the village. He started to walk faster. His little legs carrying him towards the towering trees, making it appear he didn't notice the followers.  
  
The following men picked up speed as well and soon the whole company, Inu- yasha included, were at a full blown run through the forest, shouts shot through the forest like a wild fire as Inu-yasha's little lungs wheezed and gasped for air, his brow was beginning to sweat and his hair was flying out behind him. His red haori was fairly easy to pick up in the dead forest, surrounded by snow and dead trees.  
  
He groaned silently to himself, he knew where he was headed. Towards that stupid cliff with the river at the bottom. It turns out it had taken a month for his bones to heal and he did _not_ want to go through that again, that was the hardest month he'd ever faced, defending himself when he couldn't move his legs. That had been a challenge.  
  
Stopping at the cliff's face, he gulped loudly, the sound bouncing off the cliff's wall.  
  
The villagers formed a wall around Inu-yasha and he turned around slowly. His tiny voice was cold yet held the child's sadness, "Why do you hurt me?"  
  
"What were you doing in the village, hanyou?" the villagers answered his question with a question that didn't really answer the question in the first place.  
  
"I was paying my respects."  
  
"HA!" the village leader stepped forward with a rusty sword, "a hanyou, a half-breed, a piece of scum, something lower than the dirt it stands on paying respect?"  
  
Inu-yasha blinked, "What?"  
  
"You're a piece of disgusting vermin. You sicken all who sees you, you are a disgrace to society!" a younger man then the village leader said, wielding a pitchfork.  
  
Inu-yasha's eyes watered slightly, "What's a hanyou?"  
  
The villagers laughed then. But it wasn't the kind of _'ha ha'_ laugh you share with your best friend when they crack a joke and every one's having a good time. This was the kind of laugh that excluded someone, when the laugh was pointed at them and their ignorance for being naïve. The villagers had big booming laughs hat echoed along the cliff's face, making it appear that laughter as all around the poor little hanyou.  
  
Finally, the villagers got a hold of themselves, "You mean to tell us you don't know what you are?"  
  
Inu-yasha blinked, "aren't I h-human, sir?"  
  
More laughter.  
  
But this time it echoed louder and lasted longer.  
  
Inu-yasha fought the anger that was rising within him and glared at the villager's feet, not able to meet their eyes.  
  
"You are a half-breed, you stupid boy, half demon half human, the worst thing on this Earth," the villager spat.  
  
Inu-yasha stayed silent as he watched the villagers joke among themselves about the stupidity of some demons.  
  
But how as he supposed to know? He was but a child.  
  
An unknown child that was cared by no one.  
  
The laughter was really getting to Inu-yasha. His eyes were alit with a hidden fire, "Shut up." His voice was venomous, like when he declared he was to become a demon.  
  
The men seemed to not notice, "Shut _up_."  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Inu-yasha snarled, showing his fangs and his golden eyes narrowed in anger. Lifting a hand, he cracked his knuckles and smirked.  
  
He didn't remember what happened much, because everything seemed to black out at that point and when he came too, he was in a sea of blood, dead bodies surrounded him, the blood seeping into his haori.  
  
He stared in shock, the over-powering smell of dead bodies and death hung in the air, and it was sickening him, he ran, ran faster than he ever had before.  
  
Before the village disappeared into the horizon he looked back mournfully.  
  
"I'm sorry mother, looks like I won't be able to come next year," he whispered and ran far away, he had to get away from the village, before the women realized all the men were dead.  
  
Dead by his claws.  
  
And no matter how hard he tried; the smell of their blood remained on his claws for years to come.


	3. Chapter three

**Unknown Child in the Red Snow  
Chapter Three**  
  
_(In Inu yasha's POV)_  
  
It has been so long since I last saw you, mother. The last time I saw you I was but a pup. A small child that couldn't defend himself and had to resort to running until I lost control or passed out from fatigue. Why did you leave me, mother? It's been 187 years since I last saw you. You're smiling face and your tender and gentle eyes as she rocked me to sleep.  
  
Back then I could actually fit in your arms huh? Well now you can't, mother, you've been dead for a long time, and the village won't allow me near you so I can talk to you. There's so much I wish I could tell you right now.  
  
I've met someone, mother. She's a priestess. Her name's Kikyo.  
  
And she's one hell of a bitch.  
  
But I feel strangely attracted to her. She has a calming spirit to her and I feel different around her. She spoke to me a few days ago in the field.  
  
_Flash back  
  
"Inu-yasha you're there aren't you?" Kikyo called towards the forest, she sat in a clearing, and a gentle breeze blew at her tied hair. "Why won't you come down?"  
  
My head popped out of the tree and I growled. Clenching my fists and hoping from the tree my eyes burning with an inner struggle, to either run away or to just listen to the bitch talk. "..."  
  
"We've never stood so close together have we?" Kikyo asked quietly.  
  
I sat hunched over, supporting my weight on the balls of my feet so I could spring away at any time. I stared at Kikyo, "What of if?"  
  
"Inu-yasha..." Kikyo said my name so softly. "What do I look like to you?" I was caught off guard by that question, I was not expecting that. "Do I look human to you?"  
  
I stepped back a bit, "What? What garbage are you sprouting now?"  
  
"I can't show my weakness, not a moment's hesitation to anyone. If I did, the demons would take me," she held out a hand and a bird landed on it. It chirped happily before flying away into the trees. Even though Kikyo couldn't hear it, I heard it nestle into a soft nest and feed its children. "I am human, but I must not be human."  
  
"You and I are the same Inu-yasha," Kikyo didn't turn to face me, she kept staring ahead, "You too fight your humanity.  
  
"That's is why I have been unable to kill you," she finished.  
  
"Feh!" my classic word, I have no idea what it means but I use it on regular occasions. "What do I care for your whining, I'm nothing like you!" I stood up fiercely, not allowing her to see the affect her words had on me.  
  
"No I suppose...you're not," Kikyo looked up at me and smiled. It was the saddest smile I had ever seen in my life. And that's not a lot of smiles, but still, it's a long time, living for 192 years and seeing a sad smile from a priestess that everyone loved. I gulped loudly.  
  
End  
_  
Mother, she looked so utterly alone. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I'd done something wrong. Her face nagged me, and it still does.  
  
And now I find myself thinking about her all the time.  
  
Curse her.  
  
---  
  
I feel so alive now, mother. Kikyo and I have spent so much time together. I just can't get her out of my mind. I find myself sitting in trees and watching her with the village children, or helping her elders. Or even shooting arrows with her younger whelp of a sister, Kaede. I think that was her name. The weird little girl had only one eye.  
  
I follow Kikyo everywhere it seems. Wherever she is, so am I.  
  
I wait outside the cave where she cares for the broken man. I don't know his name, Kikyo hasn't told me. All I know is that he smells horrible, has many burns on his body, like he'd been in a huge fire, and he couldn't walk, he was thrown off a cliff.  
  
About two weeks ago, a day before the burnt man came; a bandit came with some arrows and threatened to shoot Kikyo. I felt anger pulse within me as the arrow shot towards Kikyo's back. I grabbed it effortlessly and ran towards the man.  
  
He gulped loudly and stammered. I snarled at him, "Do you want to die?"  
  
"H-how did you catch that?" he stammered, and then noticed my ears, "Y- youkai!"  
  
I snarled and cracked my knuckles. "Inu-yasha!" I pause, Kikyo is calling me.  
  
I turn towards the man, "You lucked out."  
  
I jumped into the tree above Kikyo. She turned and smiled at me, "What was it?"  
  
"Nothing that concerns you," I say as I hop down and we walk away together.  
  
Yes, that had been fun, but I wish that Kikyo hadn't called, that way I could have killed him for trying to hurt Kikyo.  
  
If she died I don't know what I'd do.  
  
---  
  
"If you wish to be human, Inu-yasha, use the Shikon no tama," Kikyo said to me as we stood in the clearing we always met in. "Tomorrow at dawn, to this place I will bring the Shikon no tama."  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
---  
  
But on that promised day, mother, Kikyo appeared, all right, but without a Shikon no tama. No, instead for me she had some arrows aimed for my heart. The heart that beat only for her.  
  
She'd planned all along to kill me. And that fact made me snap inside and I ran to the village to get the Shikon no tama and become a full youkai. If I was a full youkai, maybe I could forget this never-ending pain that surged through my veins. I ran along the forest and jumped in front of the large god tree. The same tree I had retreated too when you died, mother…  
  
Then her arrow flew from no where.  
  
And pierced me in the heart, mother.  
  
I dropped the jewel.  
  
The whole thing that caused this.  
  
And I stare at Kikyo, my eyes betraying my emotions, I hold out my hand to her and gasp. "Kikyo...how could...I thought we..."  
  
And then I feel into a sleep.  
  
And I died.  
  
Kikyo killed me, mother.  
  
And I'll never forget how much I love her.


	4. Chapter four

**Unknown Child in the Red Snow  
Chapter Four**  
  
_(Told in Inu yasha's POV)_  
  
It was odd.  
  
When I was pinned to the tree, I wasn't really dead, more like asleep, if you will, and I still could tell what was going on. I remember seeing all that was going on around me, but not knowing how long I was standing against the tree, and after time, I felt my feet rise from the ground as the tree grew stronger and taller.  
  
I was never dead, but I wasn't alive. I was never asleep, but I wasn't awake. I was caught in a dream, but knew that it was a dream.  
  
I remember the pain in my chest when the arrow struck, it had blacked me out, and when I "awoke" but still pinned to the tree and in my dream state, there was no one.  
  
I stood silently, just thinking.  
  
That's all I could do.  
  
Think.  
  
I thought about all the things I'd done. All the things that had gone wrong in my life. And the fact that Kikyo had betrayed me was not only a blow to my pride, but it crushed what little faith in love I had left.  
  
It seemed I was cursed to lose whomever I loved. My father, my mother, and now Kikyo.  
  
Damn it, I swore to myself if I ever got off the goddamn tree I would wreak some major havoc.  
  
But no one ever came to me. The days turned into months, and the months turned into years, and no one came. I was all alone. The years passed slowly, and I soon lost track of time. I was stuck to a tree, and would be until I rotted away and was no more.  
  
And the fact that no one would miss me was painful.  
  
But then I thought about how I would join my mother and father, wherever they are. And Kikyo.  
  
Even though she betrayed me, even though she tried to kill me, even though she toyed with my emotions just to get my guard down.  
  
I loved her.  
  
I still did.  
  
And I would follow her anywhere, if I so choose.  
  
Stuck to the tree, I began to think about how she only needed me for the jewel to disappear, if I had carried that out, I would have been a human, a weak, useless human. I would have had to be protected by Kikyo.  
  
But I knew that was wrong. Kikyo was saving me from the heartbreak. If I were to stay a hanyou, I would eventually outlive Kikyo, and I would watch as her skin became wrinkled and her hair turned silver like my own. But I would not age. I would stay myself, my own teenaged appearance, as Kikyo slowly wasted away, until she was no more.  
  
She was trying to save me from the heartache.  
  
If I had become human, I would have the same life span as Kikyo, and we could live happily.  
  
But, I could have stayed a hanyou. When a youkai mates, the mate of the youkai will take on the same life span as the male, and they would live the same number of days. The day the male, like myself, died, the female would simply return to her old lifespan.  
  
So if I had mated with Kikyo, she would have aged like me, and when/if I died she would return to the mortal aging, but still be sixteen in her appearance. I think she was sixteen.  
  
Anyways, that's when she came.  
  
For the first time in so long, a person came into my clearing.  
  
She was dressed so strangely. A weird kimono that was shorter than the small village children's. I couldn't see her face much, but I decided she must be a foreigner.  
  
I expected her to run screaming like the last person had, about five days after I was pinned. But she didn't. I would have gasped in surprise, had I been awake, when she approached me with only a few moments hesitation, she walked right up to me, she was talking to me, but I couldn't hear her.  
  
She climbed the sturdy vines that had wound around me over the years and she reached out her hands and touched my ears.  
  
No one had ever done that.  
  
Except my mother.  
  
Not Kikyo, not anyone but my mother and this stranger.  
  
She tweaked my ears for a few moments before letting go. I felt the air grow tenser as I heard the quiver of an arrow being strung along the strings of a bow. Then the arrows came, skimming me and almost hitting the strange girl.  
  
I watched sadly as the girl was taken away. It royally pissed me off that the one person who wasn't afraid of me was being taken away from me.  
  
I thought I'd never see her again.  
  
Though I barely got to see her, much less get to know her.  
  
But I had quickly shaken those thoughts aside, after Kikyo, I couldn't even look at a girl.  
  
---  
  
I had stood there for some more time, though I didn't care for the time, when the thoughts of Kikyo's betrayal stirred within me, and I heard someone screaming in the distance. All the years of frustration were boiling to the surface, all the years of taunting, all the years of cruelties towards me, all the years from my childhood up until now when I was looked down upon as a freak of god damn fucking nature, sprung to life and I awoke.  
  
I clenched my fist and felt myself snarl in what seemed like forever. The smell was lingering the air. Kikyo's scent. "I smell it, the scent of the woman who killed me!"  
  
And sure enough Kikyo came running into the clearing and tripped. I was surprised to see she hadn't grown much; maybe I had only been asleep for a few months...or perhaps only a few years?  
  
"Oi, Kikyo, why play around with half rates like mistress centipede?" I asked her, I knew it was a centipede following her; her evil scent lingered over Kikyo's scent.  
  
Kikyo looked up at me in shock, like I'd grown a third head. But whatever, I was a freak in her eyes, and she was surprised I still knew how to talk, probably.  
  
"Keh! You're pathetic Kikyo!"  
  
Kikyo stood up and I glared back, my smirk playing across my face.  
  
"Listen you, I don't know who this Kikyo is, but I'm not her!"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me you think I don't know the _STENCH_ of the woman who killed me?" I snarled at her, why the hell was she playing innocence? I should kill her. But I knew I couldn't do that, I loved her still, I just couldn't god damn let her know that weakness, ever again.  
  
"My name is Kagome! Ka-Go-Me!" she screeched and walked up to me.  
  
I leaned over and sniffed her. It smelled sort of like Kikyo, but I mentally slapped myself in my realization that it wasn't her.  
  
This Kagome, had a scent like Kikyo's, but the scent was gentle, carefree, and the lovely smell of sakura and lavender drifted into my nose.  
  
It was an amazing thing.  
  
Little did I know, that this woman before me would cure my heart of all its sorrow.  
  
And to show my undying gratitude for her releasing me, I tried to kill her. Ok, so I wasn't really trying to kill her, I was trying to scare her into giving me the jewel. I wanted to be a full demon so I could not only pay back the village for what they'd done to me, pay back the demons for what they'd done to my mother, and to be stronger, I wanted my heart to be stronger, so I could forget about Kikyo and have my heart never swayed by a mere woman ever again.  
  
Oh how wrong I was.  
  
The months passed, and my heart began to warm up to Kagome. The strange girl who had come running into my life. She knew my secret about the new moon, which was a privilege in itself, not even Kikyo knew about that, she knew that I was a hanyou with a father who was demon and a mortal mother. She knew my temper, she knew my pain to the extent that she could fathom.  
  
But she didn't know my complete past.  
  
I don't know when it happened, but I think it was about a half a year that I discovered how completely in love with her I was. My heart beat only for her, I awoke every morning so I could see her, I sat by the well waiting for her to return, just so I could see her smiling face, and her beautiful smell.  
  
But, me being who I am, I had to try and force those thoughts away. There was no way I could get close to her; she'd leave me eventually too, like my father, and my mother, and Kikyo.  
  
I didn't want to lose her, I was afraid to love her.  
  
So, I drove her away. I screamed, I yelled, I did everything in my power to get rid of Kagome, to make her not care about me, but it didn't work. She stayed with me; she stayed by my side, and never questioned my _'dream'_ to become a full demon. She never once asked me to change for her.  
  
She was happy with what I was.  
  
She was my friend.  
  
I had never remembered having a friend before Kagome. She was my first friend. And when I look deeper, my first love.  
  
I had often thought that Kikyo was my first love. But it was simply lust. Or something like that. Two lonely souls drawn together in order to force away the emptiness that plagued us. A fruitless attempt to fill our empty hearts.  
  
She and I were forgotten, and not accepted. I for being a hanyou, and Kikyo because she was a Miko. She could never show a moment's hesitation, she had to be perfect.  
  
She had to be immortal.  
  
But she was human, a mortal. A mortal cannot be immortal unless the mortal mates with that of an immortal. Wow, that must have be confusing to say out loud, like one of those tongue twisters Kagome's always talking about…  
  
Kagome was the one I loved.  
  
Kagome is whom I choose.  
  
But of course I couldn't tell her that. It was a one-sided love, and even in the unlikely event that she loved me, she would have to leave me, eventually, she would have to go away and back to her time forever, leaving me alone, and leaving me to die of the loneliness that would soon consume me.  
  
But even if she didn't love me back, it was too late, that would happen anyway.  
  
I was doomed to fall in love with someone I couldn't have.  
  
---  
  
I sat by a tree, not in it, for once, just at the foot, staring off at the sky. I wore my usual scowl that often covered what I was really feeling.  
  
Kagome was watching me silently, I know that my scowl doesn't fool her, since I could tell my ears were drooped sadly and my eyes were sad and longing. Kagome, being her natural sweet self, stood up and walked over to me, handing me the ramen that I loved so dearly.  
  
I took it gratefully and grunted my thanks. Kagome sat next to me. We sat in silence, just enjoying each other's company, and for once, I ate in silence.  
  
"Inu-yasha, what's wrong?"  
  
I jumped slightly, though unnoticeable to Kagome. Covering up my surprise, I glared at her, "Nothing wench, leave me alone."  
  
"Inu-yasha," Kagome said calmly, unfazed by my glare and insult, "how long have I known you?"  
  
I paused and thought for a moment, "About a year, why?"  
  
"That's right a year, one year to get to know you," Kagome smiled softly, "I've spent a countless days with you, don't you think I'd be able to tell if you were lying or not?"  
  
I sighed and turned away, "It's nothing important."  
  
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it, Inu-yasha," Kagome patted my shoulder gently, her hands soft and so small, so comforting, "Remember I'm here for you."  
  
Yeah here for me, I tell myself. Kagome, how come you're always here for me? Wouldn't you rather be away from the freak?  
  
---  
  
Kagome was gone again. She had gone to her world, leaving me absolutely alone. It was only the kit and myself. Sango and Miroku had left with Kirara towards the North, having heard a shard rumor. The stupid oversized rat was asleep next to me. Though he was the most annoying thing in the world, I thought of him as my pup, my son, almost. It was comforting to think that I might have a family.  
  
The kitsune kicked his little paws out as if having a bad dream and whimpered in his sleep; he often did that when Kagome's warmth wasn't around. I soon found myself holding the kitsune, Shippou, in my arms and just comforting him, I'd have to remember to set him down before Kagome came back or he woke up.  
  
Kagome.  
  
I hated it whenever she went through the well.  
  
I was always afraid she wouldn't come back to me, or the well would stop working, or something bad was happening to her and I didn't know it. That I wouldn't there to help her.  
  
I missed her scent.  
  
No,  
  
I missed her.  
  
---  
  
A few months later we killed Naraku.  
  
And everyone of our team survived, except for a few cuts and scrapes. Kikyo, who had been resurrected, was put to rest, buried next to Kaede, who had died a month before the final battle.  
  
The two sisters were finally at peace, and here I was, standing in front of Kikyo's grave. When she'd come back to life, I had felt the overwhelming feeling of guilt, and it drove and twisted and turned and made me think I was still in love with her, when the person I was really in love with, was getting her heart broken by me, of all people.  
  
But now everything's fine, I had given up the jewel and instead gave it to Kagome. She was planning on going through the well today, to tell her family the good news.  
  
What if she didn't come back?  
  
But I didn't - couldn't - think about that now. After paying my respects to Kikyo, I began to think.  
  
Maybe I should visit my mother.  
  
"Inu-yasha?"  
  
She came back.  
  
Wow that was fast.  
  
I turned around and my eyes nearly bugged out, she was wearing a kimono, one from my time, it was a light blue with a green obi and had red flowers on the sleeves, and was trimmed with green as well. I blinked at her in confusion.  
  
She stepped up to me with her eyes downcast, and I felt a pang of hope spring to life within me.  
  
"I just got back," she paused and looked up at me, the smile that I loved so much on her face, "and I was thinking of a way I could use the jewel."  
  
"I'm listening," I said quietly.  
  
"I was thinking that maybe," she gulped and blushed suddenly, turning her face away, "I could use the jewel to keep the well open forever, so I can go and visit my time sometimes."  
  
"What do you mean, just visit?" I was confused, but I couldn't stop the small smile creeping up my face.  
  
"I was hoping that you'd let me live here," she said quietly, and then the last part was whispered so silently I almost missed it, "with you."  
  
I grinned then and scooped her up, spinning her around, she giggled, her kimono blowing out behind her as I set her down, I brushed some stray hairs from her face and kissed her.  
  
I don't know what came over me; just the fact that she wanted to stay made me burst.  
  
She giggled against my lips and I deepened the kiss.  
  
Finally, I had to pull away in order to breath. And I looked down at Kagome, her lips swollen from my kiss, her eyes with a dreamy look inside their depths, and her cheeks painted a soft pink.  
  
"I love you, Kagome."  
  
She looked at me with shimmering eyes, tears in the corners as she flung her arms around me and melted into me, almost, her arms around my neck, and my arms around her slim and tiny waist, I could stay like this forever.  
  
If I died right now, I'd be happy.  
  
I had Kagome.  
  
I had a reason.  
  
"I love you too, Inu-yasha," she whispered and giggled when I kissed her neck.  
  
Sorry Kikyo, looks like I'm moving on again.  
  
But I don't mind.


End file.
